


Hotline Royal Woods

by CosmicEclipse



Category: Hotline Miami (Video Games), The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: His talent his death, Lincoln Kills a lot of people, No More Heroes Flair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 03:38:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15404097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicEclipse/pseuds/CosmicEclipse
Summary: Lincoln orders a mask for one of his favorite characters from a website and it comes with a lot more than he bargains for when it comes with a threatening letter.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a random Idea I had because The Loud House was on my mind while I was running a playthrough of Hotline Miami. There's more focus on what happens between calls and dealing with his family and things like that, but when he does get calls they tend to be bloody and bodies stack up quick.
> 
> Anyway, if you like this kind of thing, I hop you enjoy.
> 
> Also for maximum effect I recommend you read the killing parts to the Hotline Miami soundtrack. Specifically MOON.

Lincoln Loud hopped off the school bus to see a brown box on the front porch addressed to him.

“Yes! It’s finally here!” He shouted as he grabbed the nondescript box from the door step.

“What did you order this time?” Lola asked from behind him, their bus having just pulled up. “More stupid nerd shit?”

“Wow, chill.” Lincoln said, taking a step back from the pageant girl. She seemed to be even more vicious since starting in the ones held for older girls.

“Is she right?” Lana asked.

“If you really must know,” Lincoln said as they walked inside, “Yes. Yes it is.”

“You’re seventeen now. How have you not grown out of this?”

“Leave my hobbies alone.” The white haired teen said as he started up the stairs.

“What’s in it?” Lucy asked, causing her younger siblings to jump.

“How long have you been there?” Lana asked.

“The whole time.” She and Lincoln said.

“Anyway, it’s just a mask from one of Ace Savvy’s lesser known, but still really cool villains.” He said, deciding not to go into any real detail since they wouldn’t care or understand what he was talking about.

“What’s he do?” Lily asked.

“He’s the Dragon King. Not only can he use dragon powers, but he can also control other dragons. It’s kind of generic, I know, but he’s so well written and so cool everyone kind of overlooks it.”

“Nerd.” Lola said as she and Lana walked into their room.

“Whatever.” Lincoln said as he walked into his room and closed the door.

He quickly tore open the box and looked inside to find his mask, along with some other things that shouldn’t have been there. He finds an older prepaid phone as well as a note.

Congratulations! You’re the now the proud owner of an authentic mask, courtesy of our company. You may be asking yourself what that means and why we worded it that way. Well, Lincoln Loud, It means you do what we say or we murder your family. You have just gotten involved in something that you can’t get out of. You will receive your missions from the burner phone in the box and you will use your mask to carry them out. Use whatever methods you see fit to accomplish your- our- goal. The only failure is death. If you do not accomplish the task, either you don’t live or your family doesn’t. You wouldn’t want Sweet Leni to lose an arm in freak stitching accident would you? Or a fatal blow in one of Lynn’s martial arts matches? I didn’t think so. Expect your first assignment in the next few days. Please destroy this letter after reading. If anyone else finds out about what you’re doing, they’ll be executed. Thank you for shopping with us.

Lincoln was sitting on his bed after reading the polite sounding, but incredibly threatening letter. He didn’t know what to do or what it meant. All he truly understood was that no one else could find out about it. Balling up the letter he rushed to the kitchen and set it alight on the stove.

“What are you doing?” Came a voice from behind him.

“Lynn!” Lincoln turned around. “Lynn, Hi! Hi Lynn!” He said nervously.

“What are you doing?” She asked again.

“Oh, uh, nothing, really.”

“That doesn’t look like nothing. Why is the stove on?”

“No reason. I was thinking about making a snack, but decided against it.”

“Then why does it smell like something’s burning? And why are you acting so weird?”

“What? I don’t smell anything. And I’m always weird.”

“I mean weirder than usual.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lynn eyed him incredulously and shrugged.

Lincoln mentally sighed in relief as he went back upstairs.

——

“What am I going to do?” He asked himself over and over as he paced the room. He’d been at it for hours, walking in circles and thinking. There was no way he could do whatever they asked. And death? Seriously? They were going to kill him and or his family if he refused? What the hell kind of video game scenario was this? Things like this didn’t happen in real life.

Finally he collapsed on his bed with a sigh. Nothing he could do but about it. He couldn’t go to the cops. They wouldn’t believe him. And if they did, what if there was a mole or something and his family got killed for it. He wasn’t sure what to do about anything anymore.

“Lincoln, time for dinner, sweetie!” His mom called.

“Okay!” He called, getting up.

At dinner he was lost in his thoughts and his family noticed.

“Are you okay?” His mother asked.

“Huh?” He looked up. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about what to do for the summer. Ronnie Anne is gone and Clyde’s going away to camp.” He lied. Well, not entirely. That was a worry before this whole, ‘you do what we say or we kill your family’ thing happened.

“Well you have us to hang out with!” Lily said excitedly, bringing a faint smile to his face.

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

His mother wasn’t entirely convinced, but she let the subject drop. After dinner Lincoln went back to his room. He was too tired to worry, but too wired to sleep.

——

It had been a few days. School was finally out for summer and he was starting to think the letter was just a joke. That he’d worried for nothing. He hopped on his motorcycle, which he had to beg his parents to let him get, and rode home early. When he walked into his room he saw the burner phone was blinking. It brought his sense of relief crashing down around him to newfound fear.

He picked it up and saw he had a new voice mail. He took a shaky ragged breath before listening to it.

“Hello! This is Linda from Royal Exterminators! We’ve got a complaint about some pests at the train station on Fifth Street. Please make sure that you get rid of all of them. We wouldn’t want any complaints about the quality of your work. Feel free to keep whatever payment you get. We expect this done by tonight.”

Lincoln felt sick. He’d have to kill people. He wasn’t prepared for that. He couldn’t kill! He wasn’t cut out for this. But he didn’t have a choice. He looked at his mask and sighed. Tonight he would have to take his first assignment.

—

After dinner and once everyone was asleep, Lincoln grabbed a small bag and stuffed a change of clothes and his mask into it, as well as a bat. He didn’t want to wake his family, so he walked his bike a few blocks down before starting it. The train station on fifth was his destination and he was going to be there.

Once outside the train station he took a deep breath. He’d parked his bike in an alley and gotten ready. He’d put on his mask, psyched himself up, and picked up his bat. It was go time. Lincoln stopped at the top of the stairway. He couldn’t help but see it as his descent into hell. With a sigh he took his first step down the path to that hell.

The train station looked like about any other train station. It wasn’t particularly clean, there was graffiti everywhere, and the lights were bright even at midnight. The only problem was the groups of people in black suits that weren’t supposed to be there. Lincoln guessed these were the “Pests” he was supposed to be dealing with. He was terrified. As much as he had tried to mentally prepare himself, he was still scared. Not only of taking life, but of losing his. He’d noticed these people had guns on them, meaning one wrong move and he was dead. He thought back to the letter. The only failure is death.

He took a deep breath and stepped forward. As scared as he might have been, he was used to chaos, which meant he could function under intense fear and distraction. He’d noticed the men seemed to be waiting for something. They’d been on a rotation which left one of them alone or out of line of sight of the others for a few minutes. That was when he decided to strike. Moving into the first area he came up behind someone who was smoking and slammed the bat down on his head with all his might. There was a loud ping followed by the man hitting the ground, but nothing else. Lincoln hit him twice more to make sure he was dead.

He grabbed the man’s gun, not really to use since it would draw too much attention, but just to have as he moved forward. He’d counted eight people in total, which meant seven more before he could get out of this hell hole. As he moved he saw two guys talking to each other. One was playing with a knife and the other was bare handed. He wanted to try another sneak attack, but they were in a long open area with nothing to hide behind. Lincoln took it slow, approaching in quiet steps. Once one of them seemed to notice him he threw his bat at the one with the knife, knocking him down and dazing him.

The man with no weapon still ran at Lincoln, but he’d spent enough time with Lynn to be able to dodge him. He dived past the man and towards his partner, grabbing the knife that was dropped and stabbing the downed man in the throat before charging the unarmed one. He didn’t go down without a fight, leaving what Lincoln was sure to be large bruises on his chest and stomach, but he went down. Lincoln kept the knife and sighed in relief as he picked up his bat.

Five to go.

The next two were easy kills. The first was goofing off, watching something on his phone, allowing Lincoln to stab him in the back of the neck. A quick and painless death. The next guy wasn’t much of a fight. He’d caught Lincoln moving around, and tried to come after him, but Lincoln pulled the gun. The guy apparently didn’t have one, so put his hands up. Lincoln got him to his knees and took him out just as the last guy. He’d had to abandon the knife after that. It was dull and bent from over use.

Three to go.

Lincoln found the final three in the railway. They were near the end of the tunnel and talking. All three had guns. As far as Lincoln knew, these were the last of them. Which meant he could use the gun. Pulling the heavy hunk of metal from his waistband, he held it gingerly in his hands before gripping it with intent. He peeked over the wall once more to get a read on his targets and stepped out. The men were shocked and started to draw their weapons, but Lincoln pulled the trigger. He emptied the magazine of the gun. All eight shots fired. All eight hit a mark. He’d never fired a gun before besides the ones at the arcades, and while he was good with those (High score on every shooting game), he didn’t think it translated to actual fire arm use. He didn’t let his surprise bring his guard down. He still had to get out of there.

Lincoln was on the lower tracks, which meant he had to go up two floors to get back to his bike. He moved quickly back upstairs when he heard something. A train was coming. But that didn’t make sense. It was nearly one in the morning. Trains stopped running at eleven. He hid as the train pulled into the station and four men dressed in the same suits stepped out. One of them had a briefcase handcuffed to his left arm.

“Where is everyone?” Asked one of them.

“I don’t know. We had eight guys stationed here to pick us up.

“You think something happened?”

“Go check.” Commanded the man with the case.

The three men moved without hesitation towards where Lincoln was. Not good. He steeled himself once more and surprised the three men as they rounded the corner, bashing ones head in and quickly taking down the other two and doing them in before they could really react. Confusion was his biggest advantage. He checked the men for weapons and found they all had guns. He could use them on the last man, but he doubted it would work. One did have a knife on him though, and it was high quality, so Lincoln took it and prepared to do something stupid.

“So you’re the one who killed my men, I take it?” The man asked.

Lincoln nodded.

“You’re just a kid. Why do all this?”

“No choice.”

The man glared. He didn’t completely understand what he meant, but even if he did it wasn’t like he was going to let this go. He reached for his weapon and Lincoln charged the man with the bat and swung down at him. He blocked it with the briefcase just like Lincoln planned, and Lincoln pulled the knife, stabbing him in the throat. The man fell to the ground gurgling blood as Lincoln took a step back. Once he was sure the man was dead he searched him. He found a key to the cuffs, the code to the case, and a Kevlar vest. He was right about the guns.

Lincoln quickly undid the cuffs and opened the briefcase. It was full of cash. Guessing from what he’d seen in movies it was around a million dollars.

Feel free to keep any payment you get.

Which meant Lincoln was now a millionaire. But it was blood money. Blood money. He’d killed. Twelve people were dead by his hand. Lincoln felt sick. Before he could let the realization kick in he grabbed his bat and the case and took off for his bike. He snatched his mask off once he reached his bike and puked his guts out in the alley. He was breathing heavily and he was shaking as he thought over the night’s events. The graphic, violent deaths of the men he’d killed. He felt the hot tears running down his face in the cold late night air as he tried to calm himself down.

It took a few minutes, but Lincoln finally calmed down enough to be able to drive. He switched clothes into a pair of leather pants he’d borrowed from Luna and never given back and a sweater. He tossed his clothes in the bag along with the bat and mask. He didn’t know what to do with the brief case since the bag as a draw string. He decided he’d just stick it in the carrier he’d had installed on the back for when he need to transport stuff he couldn’t carry in a back pack. Luckily the case fit well enough that it wouldn’t fall out.

As Lincoln drove, he decided to get food. He was hungry, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure why, possibly because he’d just puked up his last three meals or possibly because of all the physical activity, but he was starving. At the same time, he didn’t really have an appetite. One of those situations where you don’t really want to eat but your body is telling you that you need to. He came across a 24/7 restaurant and decided to stop in. He knew he looked like shit from the way the cashier looked at him, but he didn’t acknowledge it and got a pastrami sandwich. He wasn’t sure where he’d heard it but he remembered hearing somewhere that eating your favorite food after a traumatic event could make you start to hate that food, and he wanted to avoid that so he opted for something he didn’t eat often.

It was silent as he ate his sandwich, save for the music of the restaurant and the occasional conversation he could hear coming from the kitchen. He looked out the window at his bike and down to the briefcase in the chair next to him as he ate. The silence allowed him to really think about the events of the night. And it only made him more disgusted with himself. He couldn’t chalk up how methodical he was to adrenaline. He’d ended people’s lives with swiftness and thought nothing of it in the moment. He’d never even been in a real fight before, so why did it feel so… Easy? That’s what he’d decided to call it. Easy. Once he’d gotten into the swing of things. Once he’d gotten his first kill, everything else was secondary. Granted he did run into a few complications, but nothing major.

He stretched as he finished his food and winced. Speaking of complications. He lifted his shirt and saw and angry bruise on his stomach from where he’d been hit. He sighed. This was going to be difficult to hide. He threw his trash away and made his way to his bike to go home.

By the time Lincoln got home it was nearly 4:30. He’d had to walk a few blocks to make sure he didn’t wake anyone, which added fifteen minutes, but it was worth it. He rolled his bike into the garage and silently made his way to his room. He flipped the light on and took out his clothes. Unsurprisingly they were covered in blood. Lots of blood. He was surprised not of it got on his face. Then he remembered he was wearing a mask.

‘Guess that helps. Wouldn’t want to accidentally walk around covered in blood.’ He thought.

He’d probably have to get rid of the clothes. Too much blood to get out. The bat was fine. He could wipe it down with a Bleach wipe and have it back to Lynn no problem. The case though… He wasn’t sure where to put it. There weren’t really a lot of hiding places in his room. He clicked it open and checked the contents more thoroughly. He nearly dropped the case when he finished doing the math. It wasn’t a million like he thought. It was 2.4 million. He took a few deep breaths and closed the case and locked it. He slid it between his bed and the wall and got ready for bed. He was tired and he didn’t want to think about any of this anymore.

———

Lincoln snapped awake. He was breathing heavy and sweating just as much. He’d had a nightmare. He’d almost never had nightmares. But he’d killed. It made sense. But this was different. It wasn’t the scary kind of nightmare. It was the kind that made you realize things about yourself you didn’t want to.

“FUCK!” He slammed his fist against the wall.

He couldn’t remember it. Almost as soon as he snapped awake he had forgotten what had happened. He wished he hadn’t. It was going to bother him to no end not knowing what it was. He calmed down and sat on the edge of his bed, his hands in his head. Last night was coming back to him again. He felt sick again, but he knew he wasn’t going to throw up. He grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was nine. Which meant he got four and a half hours of sleep. He’d run on less, but it’s not like he’d had anything to do that day.

He dragged himself up and grabbed a towel, deciding he needed to shower and wash as much of the blood and grime off of himself as he could.  
“Uh… Are you okay?” Lucy asked as he passed her room. He forgot his bed shared a wall with her.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” She asked. Lucy never really worried about anyone, so he knew she must be really concerned, but it wasn’t as if he could tell her.  
“I’m am. Just tripped and hit my head on the wall.” He lied.

“… If you say so.” Lucy said before fading back into the dark of her room.

Lincoln got into the shower and just stood there for a few minutes as the hot water flowed over him. He wasn’t sure why, but he was feeling better about last night. And that made him feel bad. Maybe it would hit him harder later, or maybe he just got over it quick. Or maybe he wasn’t normal. The last one was what worried him. He knew people didn’t get over things like that as quickly as he did. A few hours and a nightmare and he didn’t feel that much about it anymore? There had to be something wrong with him.

Finally he started washing up. He knew his sisters wouldn’t go into his room, but he still didn’t want to chance it. Once he felt as clean as he would he got out and moved to his room. He dressed and cleaned the bat and mask of all the blood he could see. He wasn’t going to throw the clothes away like they were since it would draw attention, but he couldn’t keep them either. He decided to keep them in the back of his closet for now. Once he was sure he was sure everything suspicious was either clean or out of sight he went down stairs to get breakfast.

Lynn was out, probably at some sports practice, Lucy was up in her room, Lola and Lana were in the Living room watching T.V with Lily, and Lisa was in her room. Lincoln grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat down. Lisa. The second youngest and resident genius of the Loud family. He couldn’t got to her for help exactly, but he knew this wasn’t a onetime deal and he didn’t want to have to worry about weaponry or having to clean borrowed stuff or denting anything. He’d noticed a few dents in the bat and decided he’d have to buy a new one for Lynn. That didn’t mean he could leave blood on it, but still. He decided to go to the ten year old when he was done with his food.

Lisa’s moral compass was… Questionable at best. Which was why he didn’t feel too bad about going to her for what he needed. Well, wanted. He needed a weapon, but he wanted something kind of stylish. He knocked on her door and waited for her to answer.

“Enter.” Came the voice of his younger sister. He stepped into the machine filled room and towards his sister after closing the door. She kept it kind of dark, but he didn’t mind it. Lisa was taller now that she was getting towards her teens. She still had glasses and kept her brown hair short. “What can I do for you, brother?” She asked, not looking at him.

“Can you build me a laser sword?” Lincoln asked.

Lisa did look at him this time. It was a look of curiosity. She’d largely grown out of her more gross studies and moved on to more technological ones, even going on to win multiple awards for her advancements in technology. He knew she could whip up something for him, the question was more if she wanted to.

“Why do you want a laser sword?”

“Why wouldn’t I want a laser sword? It’s be cool!” Lincoln said, using his nerdy interests to hide his real intent.

Lisa was silent as she looked him over. She wasn’t the best at reading people, but she could tell when something was off about one of her siblings, and she’d decided something was definitely off about her brother.

“Don’t lie to me, Lincoln.”

“First of all, I’m not lying. I really do want a laser sword because it would be cool. Second, I thought you more than anyone else would understand the importance of not asking questions.” Lincoln said.

“So a half-truth then. Fair enough. I must say, I’m actually quite proud you’d try something like that. But the answer is no.”

“How much?”

“… Excuse me?”

“How much money would it cost to build a laser sword? Parts and labor and all that? I know you can do it. If anyone can do it it’s you. So how much?”  
“I don’t think you’d be able to afford it…. Could you?”

“What did I say about asking questions?”

Lisa looked down and sighed, taking her glasses off to rub her eyes. What had her brother gotten himself into? “Lincoln…”

“Look, I can’t really explain for safety reasons. And, also, I don’t want you, hypothetically, to be implicated in anything. Hypothetical plausible deniability and all that.”  
“… Hypothetically speaking… It would cost about… thirty thousand dollars.” Lisa said, catching on.

“I see. Okay… I could hypothetically have some designs to you by tonight along with the cash.”

“Cash…” Lisa was wide eyed. “Hypothetically, how long would I have to work on this?”

“If possible, hypothetically, I’d like a working prototype within the week.”

“Then, hypothetically, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.” Lincoln said as he left.

“Oh, brother… What have you gotten yourself into?” Lisa asked as she started working on his request.

Lincoln walked back into his room and quickly checked to make sure Lucy wasn’t hiding anywhere. He pulled the case from behind his bed and opened it like it was his from the start. He pulled out three stacks to give to Lisa and tried to decide how to use the rest of it. He couldn’t just deposit it in a bank account. It would be suspicious. And he couldn’t just pay for stuff with hundred dollar bills. As he looked through the case once more he noticed something he didn’t before. A business card.

It had three things on it. A name, a number, and a profession.

Dante Mills, Broker. Lincoln could likely use him. At the very least to find someone who would help him get a way to use this money. Lisa would set him back a hundred thousand at best depending on how intricate he got with his weapon, which meant he had a ton more money. He’d probably funnel another couple hundred into finding a way to keep this secret, making his room more secure and getting places to hide everything. It was almost time for his sisters to come home for their summer visit and he didn’t want to risk anything. The broker probably had a fee which would set him back maybe another fifty thousand, which still left him with an obscene amount of money and more than he knew what to really do with.

Lincoln locked his door and grabbed the burner phone. He steeled himself and called the number on the card. He could feel his heart beat getting louder with each ring. Finally, the line picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I want to get in contact with someone who can set up a… Let’s call it underground bank account.”  
“I can do that for you. But it will cost you.”

“How much?”

“Ten thousand.”

“… Ten thousand?”

“You got a problem with that?”

“No, no. Ten thousand works. So, how does this work?”

“… How old are you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Not really. I’ll set up an account with an associate and everything with be really down low. You can access your account online and can use it like a regular bank account.”

“Okay. How do I get you the money?”

“How much are you trying to deposit?”

“2 mil, not including your cut.”

“Well, well, big pimping I see. Leave the briefcase at a designated drop and I’ll leave your bank details at another within walking distance. If it has a lock, tape the code to the inside of the handle. Your money should be visible in your account by the end of that day.”

“Perfect. When’s the earliest this can happen?”

“Tomorrow. Where are you?”

“Royal Woods.”

“Southern area of Royal Park. 3 in the afternoon. Drop the case under the bridge by the lake. Your code with be in under a table on the opposite side of the park with a red line on top.”

“Got it.”

“One more question. What should the account name be?”

Lincoln thought about this. He wasn’t sure about a fake name, but he decided to go with something common.

“Lucas. Lucas Johnson.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow, Mr. Johnson. Well, you know what I mean.” And with that the call was over.

Lincoln sighed in relief. He was making a lot of risky decisions lately, but he didn’t really want to end up in trouble or dead. He had no idea how many more of those voice mails he’d be getting and he needed to be prepared. To protect not only himself but his family. Lincoln took out more money leaving a flat 2 million in the case before locking it and placing it back where he originally hid it. He grabbed the wads of cash and stashed them in different places around the room before finally sitting down at his desk to work on his weapon draft.

Lincoln was snapped out of his focus by a knock on his door. He hid his drawings and moved to open it. He found Lucy standing there. She’d grown taller, as had all his younger sisters, and so did her hair. She wore a long black dress that hid her feet and made her look like she was gliding across the floor like a ghost.

“Hey! How’s my favorite little vampire?” Lincoln asked with a smile. Lucy bit her lips, seemingly fighting a blush.

“I’m fine. Mom told me to come get you for dinner.”

“… It’s time for dinner?”

“Yes. You’ve been cooped up in here all day.”

“Wow…”

“Lincoln, you’ve been kind of out of it for the last week. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine Luce. It’s nothing to worry about.” Lincoln said as he followed her out of the room.

As they walked into the dining room Lincoln made eye contact with Lisa.

“Lincoln,” The genius started, “I need to speak with you after dinner.”

“Okay.” Lincoln said.

“Is something wrong?” Rita asked.

“No. I just asked her to help me out with some school stuff.”

“School’s out though. Why are you worrying about it now?” Lynn asked.

“Because I have to prep for college. You’ve already been through all this, but I still have tests and stuff to take.”

“Oh yeah… Good luck.” Lynn said.

Dinner went by smoothly and Lincoln followed Lisa up to her room, making a stop in his to grab the cash and what he decided to be the finalized sketch of the drawing. Lincoln locked the door as he stepped in and sat down, handing Lisa the sketch.

“This is actually incredibly detailed.” Lisa said as she looked over the sketch. She hesitated to call it that. It was closer to a spec sheet. She wasn’t particularly fond of the name, but she found it fitting based on the colors he wanted. It was dual swords with orange hand guards like a saber and a white blade. He wanted to call it Cream Calamity. A fitting name, if not an odd one.

“I wanted to make this as easy for you as possible.”

“… Hypothetically.”

“Of course.”

“And the other thing we discussed?”

Lincoln pulled out three stacks of cash and put them on the desk. Lisa eyed them with shock. She wanted to ask, but knew better than to do so.

“All I can tell you is I kind of…” The fight from the night before ran through his mind, “Ran into it.”

“If you say so.” Lisa said, taking the cash and flipping through it. “This is more than enough. Being quite honest, I high balled you.”

“Whatever. I have the cash now. Plus, I’m not expecting this to be cheap or quick. It will likely be time consuming.”

“And you expect the best of me.”

“Only cause I know you can do it.”

“Fine. You should have a working prototype within the week.”

“Thank you sis!” Lincoln stood up and hugged her.

“You’re welcome.” She hugged him back. “And while I don’t know what you’re doing, I can say I don’t condone whatever it is, but I hope you stay safe in whatever it is.”

“Thank you.” Lincoln said as he left Lisa to start her work.

——

Lincoln made it to Royal Park and was on his way to the lake. The park was relatively empty so it was pretty easy for him to slide the case under the bridge and walk away. He grabbed some snacks from a vending machine and found the table he was supposed to get the envelope from. He slid his hand under the table and grimaced at all the gum he ran his fingers over before finding the envelope. When he finally did, he was happy to not have to touch anymore gun. He couldn’t help but think about how much Lana would love it.

He slid the envelope into his hoodie pocket and finished his snacks before leaving.

“Hey Lincoln, Come here!” Lily said as Lincoln walked in.

“Hey Lily, what’s up?” He asked.

“I drew you!” She said.

“Oh, let me see!” Lincoln said walking over to his youngest sister. She was seven now and turning out to be an amazing artist. Just like the rest of his sisters, she’d found her talent relatively early in life, while he still didn’t have any talents to speak of at seventeen. “Wow! I love it!”

“Keep it!” She smiled.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright. I’ll hang it in my room.” He smiled.

“Yay!” She said giving him a tight hug. “What’s this?” She asked, feeling the paper in his pocket.

“Oh, nothing important. Just some mail.” He said

“Okay.” Lily sat down to start a new picture.

Lincoln walked up to his room and pinned the picture to the cork board over his desk. He opened the enveloped and looked at the contents. It was pretty simple. Just a URL with a user name and password.

“What’s that for?” Lucy asked from behind him.

“Jesus Christ!” Lincoln shot up, stuffing the paper in his pocket. “Did you knock or were you just in here?”

“I knocked.”

“I really need to pay attention.”

“You didn’t answer my question. What was that paper for?”

“Just some log in info.”

“For what?”

“Website Clyde recommended me to.”

“Is it porn?” Lucy wrinkled her nose.

Lincoln blinked. He didn’t know how to answer that question. He hadn’t even thought of that implication when he used the excuse. He definitely couldn’t tell her the truth. In fact, he’d rather have all his sisters walk in on him jerking it than know what was really going on. The fact that Lisa had an idea of the situation was bad enough.

“W-what?! No. Come on, Luce!” Lincoln tried his best to act like he would if she guessed right. The only other option was a flat ‘…Yes…’ which would have been thousands of times more suspicious.

“Ugh.” Lucy’s face twisted in slight disgust. “I know everyone get urges and everything, but try not to be too loud. You can’t hear me and I definitely don’t want to hear you.”

“… I think you might’ve said more than you wanted to there.”

“… I’ll be leaving now.” Lucy said, turning before her face could turn completely red.

He watched the black clad girl leave and close the door behind her before sighing in relief. That had gone better than he’d expected, if he were to be honest. He grabbed his laptop and turned it on. Once it was booted up he was about to type in the website when he stopped. A thought hit him. He should probably up his cyber security. That was another thing he had to go to Lisa for. He checked the time. It was only four. He doubted that an hour was enough time for his money to show up in the account, so he decided to visit her now.

He got up, locking his laptop, and moved to Lisa’s room. He knocked and waited for a response.

“Enter.” She said. Lincoln walked in and sat down. “What can I help you with, brother?”

“I want to up my cyber security. A basic VPN might work, but I thought you might have something even more secure like a secluded network or just a more high tech VPN.”

“Lincoln, I know you don’t want me asking questions, and normally I wouldn’t, but this is incredibly suspicious.”

“I know. This part is my choice. I’m doing this to make things safer. The thing I need the weapons for isn’t… Just by saying that I’ve said too much.”  
Lisa examined her brother’s face. She couldn’t see any sign that he was lying to her.

“Fine.” She tossed him a USB stick. “This is what you’re after. Once it’s downloaded onto your computed it will let you switch between my private network and hide all your online activity.”

“Thanks Lise. You’re the best.”

“I know.”

Lincoln went back to his room and began setting up the new system.

“Five gigs?! Holy hell this is going to take a while. Guess I should play a game or something.” He said with a sigh, Closing his laptop and deciding to go downstairs. Even with almost half the children gone, they still only had the one T.V in the living room. That said, with the four oldest gone, competition was at an all-time low. Lola and Lana were out doing whatever it was they did, Lily was drawing, Lynn was playing some sport in the back yard, and Lucy was probably brooding about her conversation with him. Lisa was working on his stuff, not like she ever really came out to socialize anyway, which meant he had the T.V all to himself.

He booted up his game system and sat back on the couch. It was time for video games.

Lincoln wasn’t sure how long he’d been playing, just that he’d been smacking people in his favorite fighting game long enough that he’d gone up two whole ranks. At some point Lily had come in to watch him play and fallen asleep snuggled next to him, and Lucy had somehow done the same. Now he had a fourteen year old and a seven year old snuggled into him and he couldn’t move for fear of waking them up. Having little sisters was sometimes like having cats.

Lincoln put the controller down and leaned into the couch, placing a gentle hand on each of his sisters. This is what it was all for. He’d endure the insanity of the calls for as long as he needed if it meant protecting moments like these. It was an odd thought to have. That he didn’t mind killing to protect his family. Something people often said they’d do, but likely couldn’t back up. He’d done it and he’d mean it if he ever said it.

“Aw, so cute!” Rita said as she came down the stairs. “I just have to get a picture of this!” She said, pulling out her phone and snapping a picture of her three children.

“Mom.” Lincoln said.

“I know, I know, but it’s not like I get pictures like this very often.”

“Yeah.” Lincoln said with a faint smile.

“You want me to wake them up?”

“No, it’ fine. I can sit here for a while longer.”

“Okay, sweetie.” Rita said before moving to the kitchen.

Lincoln didn’t have to wait long as Lola and Lana came home arguing loudly, snapping Lucy and Lily awake.

Lucy looked dazed and looked around trying to figure out where she was while Lily laughed at the long trail of drool coming from her sister’s mouth.

Lucy was confused by this, but quickly figured it out when she saw the wet spot on Lincoln’s pants. She covered her mouth and ran up the stairs.

“I don’t think I’ve ever really seen her run before.” Lincoln said.

“She’s fast.” Lily said.

“I’m going to go check on something in my room, Okay?”

“Okay.” Lily said as Lincoln got up.

Lincoln finished the installation of Lisa’s program and restarted his computer. Finally he was able to log into the site and check his account.

There it was. Two million dollars. He could spend it however he wished. If he was going to spend it on anything, first thing first was a storage unit of some kind to keep the mask and weapons and anything else he might pick up in his missions.

Missions. He was talking like he was some sort of spy instead of a killer. He sighed. Better get looking for that crate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Kill Count: 12
> 
> Total Kill Count: 12


	2. Normalization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln adjusts to his new job far too quickly for his liking and gets some badass weapons from Lisa

Lincoln had just finished trying out the prototype Lisa had finished. It worked perfectly and it felt great in his hands. The only problem was battery life. She had an idea to fix it, and Lincoln honestly didn’t think he’d mind anything she came up with.

When he walked back upstairs to his room he saw the light on his burner blinking. It had been about a week since the first call. He didn’t know how to describe what he was feeling. He felt a pit in his stomach, but his heart rate skyrocket. He didn’t know if it was out of fear or anticipation. He didn’t like that he didn’t know. He locked his door and picked up the phone.

“Hi, this is Jessica from Crispy Confections to inform you that your order is ready! Just head over to 25th and Sycamore to retrieve your order. Have a sweet day!”  
25th and Sycamore. That was on the other side of town. He decided to get everything together now instead of wasting time doing it later. He grabbed a red jacket he’d bought along with a pair of black jeans and laid them out. The clothes he had on now is what he’d be switching into after. Now he just needed to talk to Lisa.  
“WHAT?!” She shouted. He’d never heard her get that loud before.

“I was wondering if you think they’d be ready for a field test.”

“You want to field test these so soon?! I’ve only just figured out how to get the blade right! Everything still needs so much more tuning and fine tuning! I know you trust my work, but what happens when the battery runs out?”

“I improvise like last time.”

“Lincoln… I just don’t want you to get hurt. What if something happens and it’s my fault because the weapon wasn’t good enough?”

“Hey,” He moved closer and placed a hand on her back, “That’s not going to happen.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Nothing is going to happen. I’ll be fine.” Lincoln said with more confidence than he’d ever said anything in his entire life.

“… Alright.” Lisa said before handing him the weapons.

“Thank you. I’ll have these back to you tomorrow.”

“You better. If you’re not home tomorrow I’ll have Lucy resurrect you so I can kill you myself.”

“Yikes. I’ll make sure to be here then.” Lincoln said as he left.

The rest of the day was a blur to Lincoln. He couldn’t really remember what happened from his conversation with Lisa up until it was time for him to go to work. He parked in an alley across the street from the building he was going to and got ready. He put on his mask, readied his weapons, and walked across the street.  
There was a noticeable lack of fear as Lincoln walked across the street. He didn’t know if it was because it was his second time doing something like this or if it was because he’d already killed, but he moved fluidly to the door and kicked it open. The man standing behind it hit the ground and Lincoln activated his swords, stabbing the man in the heart and killing him.

One down.

Lincoln moved to the cracked bathroom door and decapitated the man inside without a second thought.

Two.

He made his way back into the main room and towards the hallway. He looked into the next room and saw two men, one just standing there while the other paced around. Lucky for him the man farthest from him didn’t have a gun, but the one pacing did. He waited until the one moving came towards the hallway and rushed him, slicing him in half like butter before doing the same to the next man. There was another doorway he hadn’t seen from where he was. It was closed and he opened it. A man was on the toilet. Too bad for him.

Five.

There were no more rooms on this floor so Lincoln made his way up the stairs, turning off his weapons to conserve battery. He opened the stairway door to an L shaped hallway. He walked down it only to be met with an enemy as he reached the end. They both drew their weapons, but Lincolns swords were faster. He didn’t get to scream as the blades pierced him. Lincoln breathed a sigh of relief and moved more carefully. There was nothing else in the hall but a door that lead to a kitchen. There were two people sitting at a table who were quickly dealt with.

Eight.

The living room was empty, which was lucky since it was an open floor plan for those rooms for some reason, but the next three rooms were all closed. He moved to the farthest room first. He cracked the door open to find a bedroom with four people. They were making this too easy.

Twelve.

He shut the door and moved to the next room. This one was an office with five people inside. They seemed to be having a meeting of some sort. One of them noticed the door opened and spotted him, they got up to come after him and Lincoln made quick work of the ones who did. He’d sliced three people to ribbons in seconds. He’d really have to tell Lisa how amazing these things were. Even as prototypes they were doing better than imagined. The last two apparently had guns because when he tried to peek in they fired at him. This got the attention of the last three people in the unchecked room. Apparently they were in the middle of making an Eiffel Tower when the shots rang out because they burst into the room weapons drawn and butt naked.

Two men and a woman. All were just as surprised to see Lincoln as he was to see them. Taking advantage of the situation, he moved as fast as he could towards the kitchen, hoping over the table and managing to make it out the door without getting tagged. He waited for a few seconds. Apparently they were less patient than he was, decided he’d run for it, or decided swords couldn’t do much against guns. Either way they’d decided to chase him. The second he saw the knob of the door turn he kicked the door in, knocking all but one of them over. He dropped one blade low so he could slice through the fallen people while he dashed forward and past the guy to the side. His plan worked as he successfully managed to slice the four of them in half before dashing at the last person. He tried to fire but the gun clicked. Lincoln smirked as he diced the man to bits.

Twenty.

That was his kill count for the night. A flat twenty people had died by his hand. It still made him a little woozy to think about, but he wasn’t going to panic and keel over or puke like he had last time. He put the swords away and moved towards the office. Maybe he’d find something useful there.  
He’d rifled through the papers for about twenty minutes, but everything was worded in insider information or just incredibly vague. He sighed before getting up to leave and tripping over something.

This was just too good to be true.

“Another brief case.” He said as he picked it up. This one wasn’t even locked. Which meant it was probably less money. He was right. It was about half as much as the last case he’d gotten. A million dollars was still a million dollars though. He took it and walked outside, tearing his mask off in the alley and changing clothes.  
Once he was done he made his way to the same place he’d been to last time. Once again he’d eaten his pastrami sandwich in silence as he thought about the night. He knew it was supposed to take people longer to get used to killing. Maybe it was because it was so many at once. But wouldn’t that make it worse? He sighed as he finished his sandwich. He’d come to love them after the first time. Pickles and Mustard on a sandwich with peppers? Yeah. He gathered his trash and threw it away before leaving.

He’d done everything just like last time. He’d made sure not to make noise as he snuck from his room down to the garage. He’d walked his bike a few blocks away before starting it. He’d done the same procedure on the way back in as well. So why was Lucy in us room? She was sleep, or at least she looked sleep. He couldn’t really tell. Her hair always covered her eyes so it was impossible to tell whether she was looking at you or not. He knew she was attentive, but it bothered him not knowing if he was being watched in his current situation.

He moved silently as he walked over to the closet to change, setting the briefcase in the same spot as the last one. He tossed the bag into the chest he’d ordered as well as the swords he’d gotten from Lisa. He’d give them back to her in the morning along with a ten out of ten review. He changed quickly into his pajamas and sat at his desk.

“Where am I going to sleep?”

“On your bed.” Lucy said.

“How long have you been awake?”

“Since you closed the closet.”

“So you saw me change?”

“I closed my eyes.”

“I can never tell with you though.”

“I did not watch you change.”

“I believe you.”

“Good.”

“What are you doing in here anyway?”

“I was up when you left. I decided to come in here and wait, but I feel asleep. What time is it?”

“It’s almost three.”

“Why are you just getting home?”

“I went out to eat.”

“After dinner?”

“No. Before coming home.”

“What were you doing when you left?”

Lincoln’s eyes darted around. “I work at a male strip club.”

“… What?”

“I picked up a job at a male strip club. I don’t strip, but I work there. I don’t have the confidence for that.”

“Why?”

“Extra spending money?”

“Why not get a regular job?”

“I like working nights.”

“You know I don’t believe you right? If you were working nights, you’d been gone more frequently.”

“I just started and I’m under age.”

“I’m still not buying it. Like you said, you don’t have the confidence to work at a place like that.”

“I said I don’t have the confidence to strip.”

“We both know you wouldn’t be able to handle all the women though.” Lincoln narrowed his eyes because she was right. “So where were you really?”

“I just went for a night drive. Kind of lost track of time. Stopped to get some food then came home.”

“Why didn’t you just say that?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Right… Well… I’m telling everyone you said you worked at a strip club.”

“Please don’t!” Lincoln said.

“Then you have to let me sleep in here for the rest of the night.”

“You just want to sleep with me like when we were kids?”

Lucy nodded and Lincoln let a warm smile cross his face.

“You had a nightmare didn’t you?”

“N-no! I embrace the darkness!”

“Lucy, it’s okay. I’m not going to make fun of you or anything. You don’t have to tell me about it. I get that it happens.”

“Fine. I did. You happy?”

“Not really. How could I be happy that my little vampire had a nightmare? But I will fulfill your request.”

“… Thank you.”

——

Lincoln woke up hard. Not quite from a nightmare, bit once again he’d been dragged back to the waking world before he realized a crucial truth of his existence. The sudden jolt apparently awakened Lucy, who was in the bed next to him.

“Bad dream?” She asked, noticing the sweat he was covered in.

“Kind of.” He said getting up. “It’s more like waking up on the edge of an epiphany. The moment before you realize something important you wake up and it’s gone.”

“I know a similar feeling.” Lucy said with a yawn.

Lincoln walked over to his closet and grabbed a towel and an extra set of clothes. He was a lot calmer than last time. In every regard. The deaths didn’t really weigh on his conscious. He actually found himself thinking about what to eat for breakfast instead of how he’d sliced people to bloody chunks just hours before.

Zombie Bran. He was going to have Zombie Bran for breakfast. An odd game of word association, but he’d take it.

“You about to shower?” Lucy asked.

“Yup. Then breakfast.”

“Okay.” She said as she got up. “Uh… Thanks for letting me sleep with you. I know mom would tell everyone and kind of ruin my image as the Duchess of Darkness.”

“I know.” Lincoln said.

“Thanks, big bro.” Lucy said as she left.

Lincolns shower was just like last time. A rinse as he let the events of the night before play again before actually cleaning up. There’d been more people, which meant more deaths to mull over. But he’d been quicker and more efficient. This was, he realized, due in part to both his getting over it and Lisa’s amazing weapons. Speaking of…

The second he was dressed he moved to his room and made sure no one was there before opening his chest. He pulled out his clothes to put in the wash and his weapons. One went in the hamper and the other stayed with him. As he was about to open the door he realized he’d dropped the lasers in the hamper. He sighed and shook his head before swapping them and going to Lisa’s room. He didn’t even bother to knock.

“Hey, I came to bring these back.” Lincoln said.

“Lincoln… I take it they worked well?”

“Oh like a charm! Ten out of ten review. Even in the prototype phase they feel perfect to use. They started to run out of juice when I was finishing up, so these aren’t practical for longer outings, but for what I needed them for they more than did the job.”

Lisa wasn’t sure how she felt about her brother gushing about her ability to create a perfect death machine for him. The way these things were designed they could cut through solid steel with little to no resistance, so she could only imagine what they did to humans. The thought both sickened and intrigued her.

“Lincoln, I want a video of your next outing.”

“Excuse you?”

“I want a video. Don’t worry about the camera, I have one that can stick to just about anything, so you can just pop it on.”

“Lisa, I know you have an idea, or you just know, what I’ve been doing. I don’t think you really want to see this. Any of it.”

“But you don’t seem to have a problem with it.”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure something is wrong with me.”

“And I’ve been trying to experiment on all of you for years with little regard for the consequences.”

“As smart as you are, you were and are still a kid. You were unconsciously letting your curiosity get the better of you. It’s why we never really got too mad. You were a curious little girl with the means to answer her questions. This is different. You’re asking to watch…” Lincoln trailed off.

“Let’s not beat around the bush, brother. You’ve been murdering people. I don’t know who or why, and I don’t particularly care. I want to see you at work.”

Lincoln took a deep breath. “Lisa I-.”

“I’ll tell everyone.”

“… What?”

“I will tell everyone what you’ve been up to if you don’t agree.”

Lincoln found himself actually enraged at this.

“You don’t know the full extent of what’s going on, Lisa!” He nearly shouted. Lisa flinched. She’d never really seen her brother this angry before. “I got into this to protect you guys!”

“What does that mean?”

“You think I wanted to get into this? No. The mask I ordered came with a note and a phone. It threatened to murder all of you unless I did what they said. As long as no one found out it was fine. But I needed your help. They threatened Leni and Lynn with really specific threats. And I couldn’t let that happen.”

“So you took up the role of a martyr.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. The first night was hard, but last night was… Easy.”

Lisa sighed. “Why didn’t you come to me right away?”

“I was panicked and scared.”

“Yes, I can understand that. What is the name of the company you got the mask from?”

“I don’t remember off the top of my head. I think it’s on the mask. Can I bring it later?”

“Please do. I’ll try to help you out of this. For all of our sakes. In the meantime, just keep following orders. And I’ll finish your weapons for you. When do they usually give you assignments?”

“Once a week.”

“Then they’ll be done by next week.”

Lincoln suddenly felt a lot lighter. And with that weight lifted, he realized he was closer to the epiphany he’d been dreaming about. “Thanks Lisa. I feel a lot better.”

“I’m glad. And Lincoln… Stay safe, okay?”

“I will.”

“I still want that video.”

“God dammit, fine.” Lincoln said as he went down to breakfast.

——

Lincoln sat in his room after breakfast. He had another call to make. He needed to transfer his new found million into his account, which meant another call to his broker.

“Hello?”

“It’s Lucas.”

“Oh, Mr. Johnson. I take it you were satisfied with our previous transaction?”

“I was. So much so, in fact, that I need another similar deal made.”

“I see. How much this time?”

“A flat mil.”

“And of course there is still the charge.”

“Of course.”

“Drop the case behind the dumpster in the alley behind Cutie Cakes on Maple at exactly noon. On the dot.”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

The call ended and Lincoln put his burner down. Why was making drops for bank transfers for illegal banks the least complicated part of his life right now? He fell back on his bed. Not to mention his family would be coming back the week after next, which meant having to deal with having four extra people in the house while having to deal with being a killer for hire. Well, a forced killer for hire. A killer under hostage? He didn’t know what his title would be, but his life was about to get a lot more complicated.

——

Lincoln got the voice mail. He’d just gotten back from one of Lynn’s events when he’d walked into his room to see the light on his burner blinking. Okay. This was fine. He could handle this.

“Hi, Hi! This is Sarah! I’m in real need of a babysitter tonight and you’re the only one I could think of! Their being real naughty, so don’t be afraid to use a bit of corporal punishment! You remember the address right? It’s on South 105th and Skylark! Don’t be late! Oh, and as always, don’t bother the neighbors!”

That was a weird one. But it meant he got an assignment. He went to Lisa’s room and knocked. She opened the door and pulled him in.

“You got a call?”

“I did.” 

“Okay. I finished the final version of Cream Calamity yesterday. I tested it and it seems to be working as intended. What do you usually wear?”

“Red hoodie and black jeans along with the mask. Speaking of, where is it?”

“Here.” Lisa handed it to him. She was moving a lot quicker than usual. She was either excited or nervous.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“I don’t think you are, but I’ll let it slide for now. Did you manage to find out anything about Comic Toys?”

“Nothing. Other than the website, they don’t really exist. I’m still looking deeper and keep running into a few dead ends. Software has never really been my strong suit, so it’s taking longer than I’d like. At best, I’ve come up with other companies that seem to share some connection, but I can’t get a concrete grasp on it.”

“Okay.”

“You’re too calm about that. You’re going to have to keep killing people until I get to the bottom of this!”

“I trust you.”

Lisa was completely disarmed by this. “Fine. The camera I have is relatively simple and should allow you to record everything with no problem.”

“Okay.”

She handed him a harness that looked like a circle with a line coming out of it that had a camera connected at the end.

“It’s exactly what it looks like. You put it around your neck and the camera sits over your shoulder so it’s like a first person view.”

“What if it gets shot?”

“It live feeds to the computers here. I recommend you turn it on from the second you leave. That way you won’t forget.”

“Okay.”

“Great. Be careful.”

“I will.”

———

Lincoln made it to his destination a little before midnight. He’d slipped his mask on, turned on his weapon, and walked in. The hall was clear so he kicked open the door to his left, knocking one man over. He ran to the one that was standing and sliced him into four before stabbing the downed man in the face.

Two down.

He moved to the hallway and saw someone standing in front of a door at the hallway. He rushed him, stabbing him into the wall and killing him.

“What the hell?” He heard from the other side of the door.

As soon as the knob turned he kicked the door in and dashed inside, killing the man. Turned out he’d killed the second person inside when he’d stabbed the first into the wall.

Five down.

He left the room and moved down the hallway that connected to the front door. He opened the door to the room on the right to find a wide open conference room with six people inside, three of which were holding guns, and a glass wall opposite him with someone standing outside it. That was bad. This was the only exit, which was good, but they had guns, which was bad. The guy outside the window didn’t have a gun and didn’t see him, which was good, but the others would alert him and he would alert the others. Bad. Lincoln let instinct take over.

He rushed inside the room and sliced two people in half like wet paper towels as they tried to get close to him. He didn’t stop running and caught one of the gun holders, slicing him diagonally. He moved quickly in a closing circle towards the men shooting and sliced them into chunks. He didn’t stop to breathe as he dashed for the door in time for four people to try to come inside. Luckily the first two were the ones with guns, so he took care of the hard part first. The last two went down like paper in the wind.

Fifteen.

He took a deep breath before moving up to the next floor. The stairwell turned and the door opened into a smaller dining or conference room, Lincoln couldn’t tell. He’d immediately been met with three enemies, who luckily didn’t have guns, and sliced them into jelly.

Eighteen.

He moved to the door and killed the gunman in the next room and made short work of his partner with a pipe.

Twenty.

He was about to move on when he noticed wiring on the table leading to the door on his left side of the room. He thought about investigating, but thought better of it. Instead, he moved to the door that didn’t have wires coming out of it and peeked through. A man with a gun walking up and down the hallway. When he turned toward Lincoln, he didn’t notice the door was ajar, so the second he got close he got a plasma blade through the neck. Lincoln walked down the hall and met with another gunman. This one was luckily at point blank range, so he was quick work.

Twenty-Two.

He moved into the last room, which had two pool tables and a guy with a shot gun. He dived behind the pool table as the guy shot at him. He listened closely for the sound of footsteps. This guy thought he had the upper hand so he didn’t worry about getting the drop on Lincoln. The second he got close enough Lincoln sliced his gun in half before sending him to the same fate. 

Twenty-Three.

He was about to head towards the last door when he noticed wires again. This time they were more subtle, sticking out from under the door instead of stretched across a room. He got an idea. He moved to the last room and picked up a gun. He leaned against the wall, careful to keep the camera at a good angle, and shot at the door. The impact caused a massive explosion. He walked into the charred room and saw a dead body in a tiger mask. He wasn’t going to take credit for that one. He moved to the last room and saw two over turned tables. He took a step inside and quickly killed the two men as they popped up to shoot at him.

Twenty-Five.

Lincoln walked out of the building and moved to his bike. He took the camera off and faced it away from himself as he changed. He stuffed it in his pocket as he went to the usual place to get his pastrami sandwich.

Like always, he felt weird saying always when it was only his third time here, he gathered his trash and left.

He did his usual procedure and arrived home feeling sleepy. He changed, making sure to put everything away in its right place, and passed out.

———

Lincoln woke up calmly for once. Well, for once after a massacre. He’d gotten up like any normal day and got out of bed. As always he headed for the shower first. 

Once that was done he’d gone down to breakfast, then went to have a talk with Lisa.

“Hey Lise.” He said as he walked in.

“Oh, Good morning, Lincoln.” She said.

“So, did you get around to watching that video yet?”

“I haven’t.”

“Are you scared?”

“No. I was actually waiting for you. I thought you might be interested in seeing what your work looks like from the outside in.”

“I guess.” He said with a yawn.

“Then let’s get started. Can you lock the door?”

“Yup.”

Once the door was locked, Lisa started the tape, skipping to where the fighting started. Lisa gasped and gaped a few times, obviously shocked by what was  
happening, but Lincoln remained impassive. It was more intense in the moment. The adrenaline pumping and having to move is a totally different experience. This was like watching a C list movie of something you did often.

“Why would you rush into a room of people armed with guns, you idiot?!” Lisa hit him a few times.

“No other choice. It was either that, or risk getting cornered by everyone left. Which was ten people. And that’s just the first floor.” Lincoln said.

“There’s more?”

“Twenty-Five.”

“Huh?”

“That’s how many people I killed last night. Twenty-five. The first floor was fifteen. There are ten left. He said pointing to the screen showing him going up the stairs.  
She watched in horror and awe as the scenes played out. She actually jumped into his arms when the explosion went off.

“Is it always that intense?”

“Yeah. Yeah it is.” Lincoln said.

“I need to get you out of this as soon as possible.”

“I mean, the explosion was new, but it’s always a life or death situation.”

“You’re far too calm about this.”

“I did say there was something wrong with me. I got over it almost immediately. They say killing gets easier, but that was true far too fast for me.”

“I can see that. I’ll expedite my search into the people behind this. Hopefully that should get you out much quicker. I may even be able to hack into their system and delete any records of you or us.”

“Don’t overwork yourself. I know you’re worried, but I don’t want you to burn yourself out.”

“You could die!”

“I know.” Lincoln said as he left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Kill Count: 45
> 
> Total Kill Count: 57


	3. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincolns sisters arrive home and throw more than a few wrenches into how things operate and he learns something about himself he's not sure he wanted to know.

It was here. The day when all of the Loud siblings that left the nest came back. All of them had managed to make a career out of their talent as well. Lori was fresh out of college but already making money as a professional Golfer. Leni was just about to graduate from her arts school with a major in fashion. She’d had several jobs lined up already and didn’t know which to pick. Luna was in a music school and also playing with her band on the side. She wanted to play full time, but their parents didn’t want her to risk it all too soon, so made her at least enroll in a school. Finally, Luan already ran a successful business. She had since she was fourteen, so she was the only who actually didn’t go to college. Lynn was home from the start of summer since she was the most recent Loud to leave the house.

“Hi!” Lori and Bobby said as they came in.

“Hey Lil bro!” Bobby said to Lincoln.

“Hey Bobby!” Lincoln said.

Ever since they’d gotten married he’d actually been his little bro. Of course this would make things weird if he and Ronnie Anne ever decided they wanted to date, but that was far off.

“Hi!” Leni said as she came inside.

“Hi Leni!” Everyone said. Lola began to berate the older blonde with fashion questions, which were easily answered. Leni had found her niche and no one could touch her in it.

“The Queen of Rock is back!” Luna said as she came inside, followed by Luan, who made some pun that made everyone groan. Lincoln had kind of stopped paying attention. Instead, he’d realized he’d neglected to ask about something.

“Hey, uh, what are the sleeping arrangements?” He asked.

“Oh, well, the girls kind of wanted to do their old sleeping arrangements.” His mother said.

“Uh huh…” Lincoln said, kind of following.

“It would be literally nostalgic.” Lori said.

“Which means,” Lynn Sr. Started.

“Yeah?”

“Bobby will be in your room.”

Lincoln’s face went blank. He felt every emotion drain from him but worry. He clapped his hands together and let out a deep breath before folding all but his indexes and thumbs. He breathed in as he brought his pointed hands to his lips.

“I’ll be right back.” He said quickly, pointing at no one in particular before speeding up the stairs.

“Like, what was that about?” Leni asked, getting a shrug from everyone but Lisa, who thought she had an idea.

He moved around the room picking up every wad of cash he’d stashed around and stuffing them into his chest as quickly as he could. After about two minutes he ran back out to the top of the stairs and leaned on the banister.

“Okay, I’d say we’re about ninety-nine-point… Eh, nine percent good.” Lincoln said, clearly taking deeper breaths.

“What were you even doing up there, little dude?” Luna asked.

“Where you hiding your porn?” Lori asked jokingly.

Lincoln was silent and looked away for a few seconds as if thinking. “… Yeah, sure, let’s go with that.”

“Gross!” The girls grimaced.

“Who even buys physical porn anymore?” Lori asked.

“What is it?” Luna asked.

“Okay, wow. First of all my sexual preferences are none of your business, and second of all this is not a family conversation.” Lincoln said.

“What’s porn?” Lily asked.

“See what I mean?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Lynn. Sr. Said.

“Well, moving past the weirdness, let’s get you all settled in!” Rita said.

“Come on, Bobby. I have Luna and Luan’s old room now.” Lincoln said leading him up the stairs.

“Wow, this is pretty nice.” Bobby said.

“Thanks. I try to keep it clean.”

“So do I get a cot or something?”

“No. Mom plans for the future.” Lincoln squatted down next to his bed and pulled out another bed from under it.

“Whoa.”

“Yup. She figured it would be a good investment since the girls would be coming home every year. Help me roll this.” Lincoln said.

Bobby came over and they moved the bed to the other side of the room so there was enough space for everything.

“So, how’s school been?”

“Pretty good. Not a whole lot going on. About to get into my last year.”

“Yeah. Then you have to sign up for college.”

“Yeah. More free time though.”

“Only if you’re a slacker.”

“I guess. How are things with Lori? I know she has to travel a lot, so it must be weird not getting to spend a lot of time with your wife.”

“We have a house about halfway between here and my family’s house, but I typically go with her. Everything is plus one. And most expenses are paid for.”

“That’s nice to hear.”

“I hope you’re not in here corrupting my Bobby bear, Twerp.” Lori said from the door.

“I was actually asking how he was liking being married to you.”

“Oh it’s amazing!”

“Great, I didn’t ask you.”

“Shouldn’t you care more about how your sister is feeling in her marriage than her husband?” Lori pouted.

“I know you too well for that, Lori.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Lincy!” Leni burst into the room and almost tackled Lincoln onto the bed. “I missed you!”

“I… Missed you… Too… Leni… Can’t… Breathe…” Lincoln choked.

“Sorry!” She let him go and they sat up.

“How have you been?” He asked.

“School is like, so much fun! I get to make so many cute dresses and I already have people wanting me to work for them!”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Lincoln smiled.

“What about you? How’s school?”

“Eh, it’s fine. Not really a whole lot going on.”

“Have you decided on where you want to go to school? What to major in?”

“I haven’t.” Lincoln said lowly.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you’ll find something!” Leni said.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone’s been saying forever.” He said looking down.

“Hey, what’s in this chest?” Bobby asked from the closet.

“Huh?” Everyone looked at him.

“It looks pretty high tech.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lincoln said.

“Is that where you hid all your porn?” Lori asked.

“Don’t worry about it.” Lincoln said again.

“You’re being weirder than usual.”

“Not really. He’s been like this for the last couple weeks.” Lynn said.

“And you haven’t gotten to the bottom of it?”

“No.”

“There’s nothing to get to the bottom of.” Lincoln scoffed.

“We’ll be the Judge of that, little brother.” Lori said.

“Lincoln, I like what you did with the place. The cream color is really you.” Luna said.

“Thanks.” Lincoln said.

“Yeah, I actually like it.” Luan said.

By now almost everyone was in his room and it was making him nervous.

“Hey, let’s go talk in the living room! I kind of want a snack.” Lincoln said.

“Yeah, I could do with something to eat too. I’m feeling kind of hungry.” Bobby said.

“Hi, hungry, I’m Luan.”

Everyone groaned but made their way out of his room.

———

Lincoln found that hiding his elicit activities from his family was actually pretty easy. They kind of snooped, but didn’t make it very far. He walked into his room to see Bobby and Lori making out on the extra bed.

“Jesus Christ.” He said, grimacing at their state of undress. Bobby was shirtless and Lori was just in her underwear.

“Get out you little perv!” Lori shouted, covering herself.

“It’s my room!” He shouted back.

“Oh, hey, Lil bro. You got a voice mail earlier on your other phone.”

“Other phone?” Lori asked.

“I did?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you listen to it?” Lincoln asked, actually nervous.

“You have a second phone?” Lori asked.

“Yeah.” Bobby said.

“What did it say?”

“It was from some woman named Janet. She said they had an apartment open to view.”

“You’re looking for apartments? Why do you want to move out?” Lori asked.

“Where was the address?” Lincoln asked.

“She said…” He looked up to think, “455 South Oak.”

“455 South Oak. And you’re a hundred percent sure about that?”

“A thousand percent sure.”

“Okay.”

“Lincoln, answer my questions.” Lori said.

“No.” Lincoln said before leaving the room.

Lincoln sat on the front porch. He’d gotten careless. He left the burner phone out so he could easily see it if he got a call, but he’d forgotten to factor in how nosy his family was. Thinking about it, he was surprised no one had noticed it before. Maybe it was just because he was sharing a room with Bobby that was the problem. He’d have to keep it in a more secure place.

And then there was Lori. She knew where he was going. She thought he was moving out, but she knew where he was going. She probably thought it was going to be tomorrow though. No one goes to apartment viewings at midnight. Which meant he’d just call it a wrong number. But the problem was he needed the address from Bobby. The voice mails auto deleted after someone listened to them, which meant he couldn’t keep them, which meant Bobby was the only one who knew the address and he needed it. That would cause problems. Problems he would face later. For now, and when Bobby and Lori were done fucking, he’d have to prepare.

 

His room smelled like sex. He hated it. He was thoroughly disgusted by it. Why couldn’t they open the window like decent people? Why couldn’t they not fuck in his room like decent people? Too late to think about it now. He piled a change of clothes, his mask, his swords, and now the camera into the draw string bag he usually took with him. He’d have to change into his murder clothes, that’s what he’d started calling his red hoodie and black jeans, sometime later. For now, he needed somewhere to stash his equipment where no one would find it. He went to the garage and put the bag on a high shelf behind a box. He was the only one in the house tall enough to reach it besides his dad, and no one else should want anything from up there. He was set.

——

This sucked. It really did. He loved seeing his sisters, but this was just plain bullshit. He’d caught a break when Lori and Bobby decided to go out for the night and probably wouldn’t be back till late. That was great. More prep time. The problem was that Luna was in the garage playing her guitar.

“Oh, hey Linc.”

“Hey, Luna.” He said nervously, drawing out the first word.

“What are you doing up this late?”

“Nothing much…” He decided to just grab the bag, “Just going out for a ride. I like to do this about once a week or so. Just ride around the city and listen to music and all that.”

“Cool. Cool. What’s with the bag?”

“Nothing much. Just kind of have it with me. See you later.” He said, hopping on the bike. Luna already knew, so it didn’t matter if anyone else heard him.

“Yeah, later.” She said as he took off.

——

Lincoln made it to the building. He was calm and prepared and nothing was going to stop him. He put on his mask and got his weapons ready before walking over to the apartment. Four floors. This was going to be a long one.

He walked into an empty room, then into a stair well. He walked into the main room and saw a man in a black suit with a pole standing there. He moved quickly and decapitated him.

One.

He moved back to the door he past and opened it to find someone peeing. He also got a swift laser sword through the skull.

Two.

He moved back into the main room and saw someone walking towards him. He charged him and sliced him in half, only to be charged by a fat guy. Lincoln put his blades up and the guy impaled himself.

Four.

He opened the door behind him and killed the guy with the gun before he could draw it.

Five.

As he moved to the next room he thought this was going too easily for him. He shrugged it off and moved to the next room. It was a bed room with one man sleep and a woman cleaning her gun. She screamed and Lincoln winced. He silenced her quickly and killed the man before he could get out of bed. As he turned to leave he heard footsteps heading toward him. He sighed and hid behind the door. Two men burst in holding guns drawn. He disarmed them… Heh, disarm. He giggled to himself about making a joke Luan would as he sliced the two in half and stabbed the last man in the chest.

Ten.

He swept the rest of the floor and found it empty so moved up to the next. He opened the door to the next floor to see two men holding shotguns but facing away from the entrance. He didn’t let himself think about how stupid that was for too long before painting the walls a delightful shade of burgundy with a little Jackson Pollock flare. He moved further down and saw someone eating a sandwich over a sink. He silently apologized for ruining their meal before stabbing them in the back.

Thirteen.

He moved down the hall until he came to the living room of the floor and saw three people sitting on the couch. The one farthest from him started to shout, but Lincoln lunged across the room and stabbed him into the couch. The other two started to move, but Lincoln gutted them. Someone in one of the other rooms must have heard the noise because a door swung open and two people came out. Both luckily didn’t have guns. Lincoln sliced them to bits.

Eighteen.

He checked the last two rooms finding one occupant each. He felt a little bad killing a fellow Ace Savvy fan, but didn’t let it get to him.

Twenty.

He moved up to the next floor and kicked the door open, knocking down the man who was standing next to it. He was getting really good at that. He stabbed him and moved down the hall. On his left was a dining room with four people in it. He once again apologized for ruining a meal and dashed in. Two people lost their heads while the other two lost theirs at the blood flying all over the room. Lincoln made sure their frustration didn’t last long.

Twenty-Five.

He furrowed his brow at the bad attempt at a joke. He got a good one earlier, but maybe he should leave the jokes to Luan. He moved down the hall and checked the living room, the bathrooms, and one bedroom. All empty. Though one of them could hardly be called a room. There was only enough space for the bed. He moved to the last room and found two people going at it. Like, really going at it. He shook his head and walked over to them. A look of terror flashed in the woman’s face when he got close enough, but unfortunately for her that was when Lincoln was right next to the bed. He brought the blade down and pinned them together and to the bed. He brought the blade out and left the room.

Twenty-Seven.

Lincoln walked up to the top floor and stepped in. This floor was different. This was more like a suite. The door led to a hallway before another door that led to what he assumed was the apartment.

“Identify yourself!” Called a man in a black suit and sunglasses. What kind of tacky asshole wears sunglasses in a building with no windows at night?

He didn’t say anything, but did ponder on how terrifying he must look to these two goons. Some dude in a dragon mask covered in blood holding laser swords? Yeah, that would scare the shit out of anyone. Add in the fact that he didn’t talk while on the job and you had pure nightmare fuel. Keeping true to the rule, he didn’t speak. He stepped forward.

“Stop!” Called the second one.

Lincoln took another step forward.

“I said stop!”

He started walking and the two looked worried.

“Stop or we’ll shoot!” They started to draw their weapons and Lincoln dashed forward, covering the last ten feet on only two steps.

He sliced the men to jelly.

Twenty-Nine.

When he was done he looked at the door. It was locked with a code. Yeah, fuck that. Lincoln raised his blades and sliced the door to pieces before walking through the rubble.

He didn’t know if this was a party or a business meeting, but a bunch of men and women in black suits were sitting around and all eyes were on him.

“Who are you?” The apparent boss asked.

He didn’t say anything.

“I asked you a question.”

“I don’t think he’s going to say anything boss.” Said a woman.

“Seeing as how he’s covered in blood, I think so as well. Let’s end this quickly.”

Lincoln agreed. The boss raised a gun and for once Lincoln was the one caught off guard. It fired and he raised his swords to block on instinct. He was expecting to feel pain, or something, but when nothing came he looked down at himself. The bullet had hit the sword. They were laser swords. Made of pure plasma and heat. Of course they’d disintegrate a bullet on impact. He couldn’t help but laugh. He saw the looks of pure terror on the people’s faces as he did. He agreed that this was probably a scary moment for them.

Before the shock wore off he dashed forward and sliced two people in half. A few more people drew guns and he dodged and rolled and deflected the best he could through all of it. After the first two kills he’d gotten tunnel vision. He was focused on only one thing: killing. He dashed about the room doing his best not to get hit and slicing people to pieces as he moved around. He sliced and sliced and sliced, not knowing when this would end but that if he kept slicing that surely it would. And he was right. When he finally stopped he was breathing heavily and he was tired and covered in blood, but it was over. Everyone was dead but him.

Forty.

That was his kill count for the night. Forty bodies. He stood atop a veritable mountain of bodies just from one night. He deactivated his weapons and looked around the room for any kinds of clues as to who these people were. After almost twenty minutes of searching, he’d found some. It wasn’t what he was hoping for, but it was info. They were a local mob. He questioned why he was killing mobsters when the office phone rang. He answered it on instinct.

“There’s been a change of plans. We’ve got a prank caller over at the Phone Company. Take care of it. Quickly. West Lumen Avenue.” The line went dead.

Lincoln knew the call was for him. He got up and was about to leave before deciding to do a quick check. Just like he’d thought, he’d found a safe full of cash in the wall of the bedroom. He grabbed a bag and stuffed it all in before heading out.

He arrived at the phone company to find the line was dead.

Yeah, he’d definitely leave the jokes to Luan. Everyone had been killed. Just as much of a blood bath as where he’d left, except he wasn’t responsible. He took the elevator up and to the top floor. He walked into a large room and found a guy in a motorcycle helmet. The two looked at each other and came to an understanding. Only one of them was leaving there alive.

“You’re dead meat!” The man said.

Lincoln activated his blades and dashed forward. In all honestly the guy didn’t stand a chance. Lincoln had fucking laser swords of all things. Their strikes clashed, but Lincoln’s blade sliced through his, and his arm, and his chest.

“It can’t end like this… I was… So close…”

This interested Lincoln.

“Close to what?” He asked.

“To… The guys… The phone calls…”

“Who’s sending them?”

“Some organization… Call themselves… The Cleansers.”

“Well that doesn’t sound racist at all.”

“Can’t peg them down… That’s what… I… Was doing here…”

“Well, you’re effort won’t be in vain. You’ve given me this info and I’ll put it to good use. Good bye.” Lincoln said before finishing his kill.

Forty-One.

It was a long night and his stomach actually growled. He was really looking forward to his pastrami sandwich. He left the building and got changed before heading to the restaurant. The cash was a lot easier to carry since it was in a backpack this time. Though he thought it weird that a mobster just had a backpack lying around. He’d find the time to count the cash later and get it deposited. He also had to tell Lisa what he learned so she could more easily speed up her search.

Once he was done he got up and left, cleaning up his trash as usual. He’d actually learned the name of the woman who worked this shift. Velvet. A pretty name, he thought, if not unusual. He couldn’t help but wonder why she worked graveyard shifts at an all 24 hour restaurant, but he wasn’t going to pry. Their relationship was that of a woman who made pastrami sandwiches at three in the morning and a weird guy who bought said pastrami sandwiches, and sometimes they made small talk. He waved bye as he walked out and headed home.

Luckily Luna wasn’t in the garage, so that let him get up to his room. Which was unfortunately occupied by both bobby and Lori. And it smelled like sex. Fantastic. He went over to his chest and opened it up, putting his weapons in their slots carefully, putting his mask and clothes in, then dumped all the cash in since the bag wouldn’t fit. It was a lot of cash, but the chest was big enough that there was room to spare. He closed it up and got changed only to see Lori staring at him from the other bed.

“Did you just get home?” She asked sharply.

“Uh… Yeah…”

“Where were you?”

“Night drive.”

“What were you doing in your closet?”

“Nothing. Just getting my pajamas. Why are you up?”

“I’m not a heavy sleeper.” She said.

“Right. Well. I’m tired, so I’m going to sleep now.” Lincoln said as he got into bed.

And it was there as he drifted off to sleep, between the waking world and dreams, that he’d realized what had been eating at him since this whole ordeal began. He had found his talent. Assassination.

———

Lincoln woke with a start. He was sweaty and dazed. He remembered. He knew. What his dreams had been trying to tell him the weeks before. What his talent was. He groaned as he got up. Bobby and Lori were gone, so he got up and went to the shower.

He stood under the hot water, staring blankly at the wall. It made sense and he hated that it made sense. Every Loud had a talent, no matter how unorthodox. Even his parents. His father was good with numbers and worked in accounting. Lori could golf circles around most other people. Leni’s fashion sense was amazing, and her ability to create anything related to fashion was jaw dropping. She could even work with power tools if it meant she was working in her niche. Luna was an amazing musician and guitarist in particular. Luan was really funny even though she could go a bit too crazy sometimes. Lynn could do just about any physical activity at a really high level despite how superstitious she was. Lucy was amazing at poetry. Lana was a pageant superstar and did all her own make up which looked amazing. Lana was just amazing at any kind of fix it job. She had been fixing the family car since she was six. Lisa was, well… She was Lisa. Having a PhD. At 4 years old was nothing to scoff at. Even Lily had found out she was an amazing artist at only three.

And then there was him. Of course he wouldn’t get something like sports or cars or even acting. He got the most destructive talent he could get. Assassination. Natural born killer. That was probably why his reservations about killing went away so quickly. And why he was able to get away with being so reckless. It came so naturally it was almost supernatural. Even without the weapons he’d gotten from Lisa, he’d probably be just as good at what he was doing. He sighed. What now? Does he make it a job? Does he quit? Does he see if he can be more constructive with it?

Questions for later, he decided.

While Lincoln was in the shower brooding over his discovery, his sister were talking.

“He came home literally super late last night. It was almost five.” Lori said.

“He’s done that before.” Lucy said.

“He left around midnight too.” Luna said.

“I told you he’s been like this for a few weeks.” Lynn said.

“Yeah…” Lana said.

“Since he got that stupid mask.” Lola said.

“Mask?” Leni asked.

“Speaking of, I haven’t even seen it. It’s not in his room. Or anything.” Lucy said.

“What kind of mask?” Luan asked.

“Some stupid nerd mask.” Lola said.

“It’s of an Ace Savvy character. The Dragon King. He was super excited when he got it, but I haven’t seen a trace of it since then. And he’s been acting really out of it since that day.” Lucy said.

“… Why do you remember all of that?” Lynn asked.

“No reason.” Lucy said quickly.

“Anyway,” Lori said, “He was fumbling in his closet of a while and I think it has something to do with that chest.”

“I might be able to get it open.” Lana said.

“Let’s go now, while he’s in the shower.” 

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” Luna said.

“If we want to figure out why he’s acting so weird, we need to know what’s in the chest.” Lori said.

All of the girls moved to his room and to his closet.

“Oh yeah, apparently he’s moving out.” Lori said.

“What?” They all asked.

“Yeah. Bobby said he got a voice mail from some real estate agent and he’s supposed to go look at an apartment soon.”

“Why would he do that?” Luan asked.

“I don’t know. He didn’t answer any of my questions.”

“We’ll have to talk to him.” Luna said.

“We definitely will.” Lucy said.

“I can’t open this.” Lana said.

“Why not?” Lynn asked.

“It’s a code lock, not a key lock. It has a keypad. I can’t pick this.” She explained.

“Why does he have such a secure chest? What’s in here?” Lori asked.

“Wait, how did he even get one of these in the first place? These things are super expensive.” Luna said.

“How expensive?” Luan asked.

“Last I checked, a few thousand dollars for one this size. And this isn’t even a civilian model. They don’t sell these to people.”

“How do you know that?”

“Sam and I were looking into stuff for out apartment and came across these. Then I ended up looking more into it because I wanted one.”

“You should’ve called me! I’m like, super good at interior design.” Leni said.

“We don’t like the same type of stuff, Len.”

“Still, I’m sure I could pick something out you guys would like.”

“What are you all doing in here?” A harsh voice asked. They turned to find Lincoln standing there in a towel.

“Lincoln!” They said. None of them had heard the shower stop.

“What are you doing?” he asked again.

“Uh… Nothing?” Luan offered.

“Doesn’t look like nothing.” He said.

“We want to know what’s in the chest.” Luna said.

“Why? It’s nothing important.”

“Then let us see what’s in it.” Lori said.

Lincoln was silent. She had him there. How was he supposed to show them the millions upon millions of dollars he’d had stored in there? They’d just ask more questions that he couldn’t exactly answer. He sighed.

“Look. I need to get dressed. Everything is fine. Nothing is wrong. There’s no need to worry about me.”

“That doesn’t answer our questions. Why are you moving out?” Lucy asked.

“I’m not.”

“Then why did you get a call from a real estate agent?” Luan asked.

“Wrong number.”

“Then why did you double check the address?” Lori asked.

He sighed again. This was ridiculous.

“I really need to get dressed. This is really uncomfortable. I’m not moving out until I go to college like everyone else did. Can you please leave now?”

“… Fine. But we need to talk later.” Lori said.

Once they left Lincoln sighed and locked his door. He understood they did it out of care, but did they have to be so difficult? He got dressed and moved to the closet. Before unlocking it he closed his window. Couldn’t risk one of his nosy sisters trying to see what he was doing. He opened it and began counting the money. It totaled out to ten million. He’d stolen ten million dollars from the mob. He couldn’t help but laugh at that. If he ever got found out he’d put his family in more trouble than that group threating them. Speaking of…

He locked everything back up and went to Lisa’s room.

“Lise, we need to talk.”

“Lincoln. I take it you had a mission last night?”

“Yeah. As you can see everything went fine. But I learned something.”

“What is it?”

“The guys behind it are a group called the Cleansers.”

“The Cleansers…” She immediately went to her computer and started typing furiously. After a few minutes she stopped. “A group of people dedicated to eradicating organized crime in the US.” She said. “It’s not public, but apparently the company you bought your mask through and a few others are shell companies run by these guys. They like to target random people and threaten them with research mysteriously acquired information about their family. They seem to prefer Ex-Military, but they’ll take anyone they can get. I don’t know how they get this info, but I’ll call in a few favors and figure it out. Last night’s call should be your last.” Lisa said with fiery determination.

“There’s something else I found out.”

“What?”

“You know how I’m the only one who doesn’t have a talent?”

“Lincoln…”

“I found it.”

“Lincoln, no…” She figured out where he was going.

“Yes. It makes sense. How I got over it so quickly. How I’m so good at this. I guess I got lucky a lot, but what you saw, three people shoot at me and never getting hit and taking out all of them. That’s nothing but pure talent. Inborn skill.”

Lisa couldn’t really deny that. The way he moved while he was working was smooth and fluid and graceful. It was like he knew what to do by instinct.

“… What do you plan to do?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to go call my broker now to transfer the money I got last night to my account, then I don’t know.”

“Money?”

“Yeah. The first night I killed a guy with a case holding a case with 2.4 million dollars in it. The next time after I found a million. The third time I found nothing. This time I found a safe and took the money I found inside. Came out to ten million. So I have thirteen million dollars.”

“So you’re a millionaire?”

“I’m a millionaire. It’s not legal money, but its money.”

“Yeah…. Well, you go make that call.”

“Later Lisa. And sorry for dropping all of this on you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. You’re ten. You shouldn’t be having to deal with all of this. I mean, I shouldn’t either, but you definitely shouldn’t. So, sorry.” He said before leaving.

Lincoln walked into his room and locked the door before checking every corner. Satisfied that no one was there he made the call.

“It’s Lucas.”

“Mr. Money Bags. How much you want to put in this time?”

“Ten Mil.”

Dante whistle. “That’s quite the haul. Who’d you have to kill for that much?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Wow. Guess I know your profession now. And I also know it’s a good idea not to cross you. Glad I didn’t decide to cut into any of your cash. Anyway, no, I don’t. Let’s see… Leave the cash inside the boulder next to the sand garden at the Japanese Cultural Center. You’ll know the one since it’s the only boulder.”

“… There’s a Japanese Cultural Center in Royal Woods?”

“I know, Surprising, right? Anyway, leave it there at one on the dot tomorrow afternoon. As always your money should be in your account that evening.”

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

Lincoln hung up and drop his burner in the desk. He had a lot on his mind and he didn’t really want to think about anything. He was too hungry to think about anything.

Zombie Bran.

Another odd game of word association, but the stomach wanted what the stomach wanted. He would even brave his sister’s questions for food. He was too hungry to really think straight anyway.

Lincoln sat at the kitchen table silently eating his food. The living room was full of his sisters all watching Dream Boat. A show even he watched partly due to their influence. It was either that or just no T.V. They eyed him oddly but no one wanted to interrupt the show to question him, an obsession he was thankful for.  
Now that he had gotten a bit of food in him, he had started to think. Now that she had something to go off of, Lisa would likely be able to get something solid on the Cleansers. They sounded too big for him to deal with, but whatever she got would likely be enough to get him out of their game. But what about after? He felt a little disgusted with himself saying it, well thinking it, but he actually kind of enjoyed the job. But what then? How do you make assassination your job? Would he get caught? Was there a way to do it legally?

“Lincoln!”

“Huh?!” He jumped at his name.

“We’ve been calling you for literally the past minute.” Lori said.

“Sorry. Hey, where’s Bobby?”

“He had to go out today. It sucks.” Lori pouted.

“I almost made a joke there I likely would have regretted.”

“You mean about how much she sucks?” Luan asked, earning her a punch from their eldest sister.

“She’s not wrong.” Lincoln said.

“You want one too?”

“I mean, you can try.”

And she did. But she missed as he leaned back in his chair and pushed her so she fell over him. Then he started tickling her. She flailed and laughed and he stopped when he felt she got the message.

“That was not okay!” She said with tears in the corners of her eyes.

“But it was funny.” Luan said.

“Yep!” Lincoln said with a grin. “Anyway, if you’re here to question me more, I’m not telling you anything.” He said putting his bowl in the sink.

“You have to!” Luna said.

“I don’t. It’s none of your business and it’s not really important. You guys say you’re worried, but you don’t trust me when I say everything is fine. And it is. Nothing is wrong.”

“Are… Are you really working at a male strip club?” Lucy asked.

“WHAT?” All the girls shouted.

“… Yes…” Lincoln said. He cursed himself for that lie. But the fact he’d rather have them think that then know what he was doing was still true.

He was bombarded with questions for a few seconds.

“Why?”

“Where?”

“What’s your stage name?”

“What’s your outfit like?”

“Why would anyone hire you?”

But Luna stopped all of that. And he wasn’t surprised it was Luna. She was his Care taker in the Loud Siblings. Ever since he was a baby she was always the one to be there for him. She was the first sibling to hold him.

“You’re lying.” Luna said. “I know that look. That flat voice. Which means whatever you’re hiding is worse than that.” She went on.

“You’ll never get nothing out of me, copper!” Lincoln said in his best 1930s criminal voice before dashing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Kill Count: 41
> 
> Total Kill Count: 92


	4. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lincoln brings everything to an end.

Lincoln had made his drop and decided to stop at the Library. If he was going to continue working as an assassin, might as well learn some more about the human body. The reason he went to the library instead of doing this on his laptop at home was because he didn’t want his sisters bothering him. He picked out a few general medical books, some on anatomy books, and some toxicology books. The subject had never really grabbed his attention before, so he’d never really been interested.   
He’d done well in health class and biology, passed the classes with flying colors and little effort, but the teachers made the subject sound like the most boring thing in the world. Now, he’d found himself surprised at how interested he was. He was absorbing the information like a sponge and didn’t have any real problem recalling it. This was especially true with the toxicology books.

Poisons were super interesting. The fact that a lot of fruit seeds contained cyanide, meaning if you had enough apples you could easily poison anyone, was just a crazy concept. Or how some plants were indigestible because of the poisonous oils they secreted, meaning they would just sit in your stomach until you died from them or vomited them up. The most interesting, though, was the mushroom Amanita bisporigera, or Destroying Angel. It’s a white mushroom found on the edges of forests that causes cholera like symptoms after about 24 hours of ingestion. After that, you feel fine. At which point you’re in the “walking ghost” phase. The mushroom essentially kills you by stopping cell reproduction, and once you’re no longer feeling like you’re about to die, you’re already dead. Lincoln could only describe that as “The sickest shit”.

He packed up once he noticed how low the sun was getting, but decided to borrow the books. Not like he couldn’t bring them back whenever he wanted.  
Once he was home he went up to his room to, once again find Bobby and Lori.

“God Dammit.” He said.

“Will you knock?!” Lori said, throwing the covers over her.

“It’s my room!” He said heading toward the closet and closing the door. He moved quickly cleaning out the chest so that only the mask and a few other innocuous things remained inside. He hid his swords and murder clothes on the top shelf along with a few stacks of cash. He came back out in his pajamas.

“What were you doing in there?” Lori asked.

“Changing. I’ve decided since you’re all so nosy, I’ll show you what’s in the chest since it matters so much.”

“I’ll go get the others!” Lori shot up and got dressed quickly.

“Sorry about that.” Lincoln said.

“It’s fine. She’s been complaining about how secretive you’ve been being. It was starting to get to me.”

“Yikes. Sorry.”

“Nah. Everyone has stuff they can’t tell people about. And we both know they’re only doing it because they worry. As odd as they are about showing it. You’re the only boy, so you always get the most attention, be it positive or negative.”

“Yeah… Yeah, I do.” Lincoln said.

“Okay, we’re here!” Lori said.

“Prepare to be seriously disappointed.” Lincoln said as he opened the chest, hiding the code from them.

“That’s it?” Lola asked.

“So that’s where the mask was.” Lucy said.

“You weren’t kidding when you said it wasn’t anything important.” Luan said.

“Where did you even get this thing? They don’t sell these commercially.” Luna said.

“Auction site. Someone was selling it for a few hundred bucks. I had the money, so I decided why not?”

“Lucky.” The rocker pouted.

“Well, now that you all know my business, which is nothing, I’m going to get on my laptop and do some reading.” He said.

The girls groaned and heckled him but left the room. Except for Lori, who got back into the spare bed with Bobby. Lincoln got on his bed with is laptop and pulled out some medical books and spent the rest of the night reading. Of course after checking his bank account and seeing his thirteen million dollars in his account.

———

It was two days before Lincoln was supposed to receive his next call. He was reading on his bed while Bobby and Lori where on the other one.

“Lincoln! We need to talk!” Lisa burst into his room, surprising all three occupants. “… Are you reading medical books?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Oh! I found it! Come with me!” Lisa pulled him out the room and into hers, locking her door behind them.

“Okay, what did you find?”

“More about the Cleansers. They’re national. Incidents like this, people in masks attacking mobsters and mafias, are happening all over the country, all receiving threats to do what their told. For our area, there’s a computer server in the sewers near City Hall. It’s likely where the calls and everything are coming from.”

“Okay. I’ll take care of it tonight. Thanks Lisa.”

“Anything to help you get out of this.” She said. “Oh, you’ll need this.” He pulled out a thumb drive.

“What is it?”

“I’ve been working on a virus that will target all of their serves and wipe everything. They’ll essentially have to start from scratch by the time you’re done with this.”

“You’re the best little genius.”

“Thank you.” She said with a slight smile.

—

Lincoln went out earlier than usual. He took everything like he usually did and headed out a bit after dinner. He dropped down into the sewers amd pulled his mask on. It smelled like, well, sewage. Absolutely terrible. But he was willing to put up with it to end all of this. He used the blades like lights, he was so glad these things were so versatile, as he moved. He heard a whirring sound and moved towards it quickly but quietly. When he got there he found two janitors standing by a large computer set up with multiple screens and towers and lots and lots of wires.

“Whoa.” He said involuntarily, drawing attention to himself.

“Who are you?” The brown haired one asked.

“How did you get down here?” The blond one asked.

“You are with the Cleansers right?” He asked.

The men were silent.

“And what of it?”

“Oh, I get it. Based on that mask, you must be one of those suckers we got to kill for us!” The blond said.

“Oh,” The other said in realization, “So what? You here for revenge?”

“You trying to keep yourself from going deeper down the hole? You’ve killed a bunch of people already. What’s a few hundred more, huh?”

“You know you could have stopped at any point.”

“You threatened my family!” Lincoln said.

“Yeah. Threatened. No intention of following through.” The brunet said.

“I don’t believe you. But, none of this matters anymore. I’m not here to clean off the blood. I’m here to get rid of a threat to my family. This whole situation made me realize something important about myself. I kind of like hurting other people. And I’m damn good at it.” He dashed forward and that was it. The men were chunks on the floor. He tore his mask off and moved to one of the computers. He was about to plug in the USB when a thought occurred to him. He typed for a bit and came upon the financial info for the group.

“Oh this is great.” He texted Lisa and told her what to do. In a matter of minutes their accounts were empty. He chuckled and plugged the stick in. A prompt came up on screen and he pressed a few buttons. After a few seconds everything started crashing. With his job done, he left the sewers and went back to his bike.

He had Lisa transfer all their funds to his account, essentially destroying any chance the organization had of coming back any time in the near future. Who labels anything as transparently as “Main Funding”? That was just plain stupid. It also meant he was now the owner a few hundred million dollars. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with it, but he was set for life.

Once home, he got into the shower and had a conversation with Lisa.

“So it’s over?” She asked.

“It’s over.”

“What are you going to do now? Considering…”

“I don’t know. Kind of hate to say, but I kind of enjoy the job, and I’m really good at it.”

“Yes. I know how you feel. That’s how all of us are. Our talents border on obsession or compulsion. You could try to do something constructive with it. You seem to be having an easy time with the medical books.”

“I am. But I don’t know about going into medicine. I still have a year to think about it. In the meantime, I’m not sure what to do. I have a mountain of cash I can’t really spend. Nothing extravagant at least. Thanks to your help the Cleansers won’t be coming back for at least a few years if they come back at all. We took all their cash and wrecked their database beyond repair.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” She was silent for a few seconds. “Lincoln… If you really wish to continue your current line of work, I may be able to help you get a foot in the door. I don’t like you doing something so dangerous, but if it’s what you want, I’ll help.”

“Are you serious?”

“I am.”

“Thanks, Lise!”

“Alright. Here’s what you need to do…”

(3 Years Later)

Lincoln was back at home visiting his family like they did every summer. He was sitting in his old room, looking over a few jobs as he thought about everything. He was in school for marketing. That’s apparently where all the hit jobs were. They disguised themselves as marketing firms. Lisa had helped him get started a few years earlier at a small place called “K-Entertainment” and from there things just kind of soared. Due to his skill and Lisa’s weaponry he quickly made a name for himself. The people at his firm called him the “White Death” due to his hair. He didn’t mind the name, as edgy as he thought it was.

Now he was one of the heavy hitters at an international firm called “Scarlet Rain Marketing”. He thought it was a bit on the nose, but he didn’t mind seeing as how he got constant trips around the world. He’d always made sure to buy something for his family as well.

Lisa had stayed on as his weapons dealer. She gave his weapons a tune up when need be and even designed him light weight armored clothing.

Lucy and Luna had found out about his profession at some point. The former was okay with it. Too okay with it if you asked him, while the latter wouldn’t look at him for a long time. It kind of hurt, but he understood. They did eventually fix their relationship, but she was always telling him how she didn’t condone what he did.

Speaking of his sisters, they’d all hit it big. Lori became a big time golfer, but retired to have a kid. He had a two year old niece named Linda Santiago Loud. Leni became a major hitter at the company she’d started working for. Just this week she’d announced that she was going to be starting her own firm. They were all excited about her success, but worried about her running a business. Luna and Sam had gotten married the year before, luckily he’d still been invited to the wedding, and their band had signed a major record deal. She’d already found success as a producer, but still wanted more. They’d released their first album this year and it was on its way to platinum. Luan still ran her very successful business and had even found success in stand-up comedy. She had a few specials come out and they were hits. With a family as big as theirs, she had lots of material.

Lynn had decided to start up her own gym. There wasn’t much money or fame to be found in women’s professional sports, unfortunately, but running a place of fitness was the next best thing for her. As far as his family knew, Lincoln had found success in marketing, but three of his sisters knew the truth. He didn’t plan on letting any more find out. Lucy had written a few books and was a published author while still in high school. Her poetry books were major hits, especially with the Goth community, so she already had a college fund going. Lola had sort of bowed out of pageants as she got older and instead focused on cosmetology. She already had girls lining up to get their makeup and hair done. Lana was on track to being one hell of a handy woman. She’d found she liked to focus on cars more than anything, so she quickly found a place in the school auto shop. Lisa had gone on to win more scientific prizes for more studies she’d done. The family was proud, but not surprised. Finally was Lily. She was on track to become and amazing professional artist. Most of her larger paintings already hung in the house and she’d even gotten commissions from people who had seen her work. At the young age of ten she was preparing to have some of her works in art galleries.

Lincoln checked his bank account quickly. There was an incident a while before where he’d been missing a few million dollars. He’d had a heated conversation with Dante, which led to Luna figuring out what he was doing, and ultimately leading him to going to a different bank that he went to personally. He got up and went down to grab a snack. He’d found a job he wanted to take and wanted to grab a snack before he went out. He passed by the trophy case on the way down. He was still the only one without a real trophy in the thing. Sure, there was the tiny “Most improved Brother” trophy he’d gotten, but that was out of pity. He didn’t really count it. Not that it mattered. He didn’t really want a trophy that said “100,000 killed in counting”.

Grabbing an apple and heading back to his room, he got his gear ready and headed out. Stopping in front of the nondescript building he prepped himself before activating his weapons.

Time to get to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Kill Count: 2
> 
> Total Kill Count: 94
> 
> And there you have it. My weird "Lincoln becomes and Assassin" story. Hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
